The War And The First Mate

Today was a productive day. Although, I did not solve the problems of the world, I did take baby steps towards a solution of a major issue that faces this county and all over the world. The thing about me is not only am I the worst speller in the world, but I seem to get discouraged easily and tend not to see all of the small things that are happening in life. As a result, I ponder and ask myself the question, “Am I moving in the right direction and doing the right thing in speaking out against inequality”? Today, I had a phone call with the one of the most wonderful and informative ladies at Equality Maine and she said “I think you will be great at this, as long as you come to understand that this is not something that happens over night.”  I was taken back in time by this comment by remembering when my mother would say, “When I wanted something I wanted it at that very moment”.  In taking this into perspective, I am taking away the basic lessons of the day and putting a strategy into place to find ways of conquering the daily battles of equality.

As I sit here and listen to the voice of Billie Holiday flowing through my ears and look into the flame of the candle burning next to me, I hope by what I convey here gives you the idea of who I really am and the aspects of what I stand for in life.  If you read my last blog post you learned that I was born to two gay parents and very proud of it.  So I guess it would go without saying that I did not have a typical upbringing.  I am not saying that my upbringing was bad. It was just different, but different is what I am trying to accomplish and enjoy.  I spent a lot of time with my grandparents which were the most remarkable people that I have ever known in my life outside of my mother of course.   My grandparents did know that my mother was gay.  She chose the lifestyle when I was only 18 months old.  However, my father (whose parents I am speaking of) did not get the privilege of knowing my father’s sexuality.  I sometimes wonder when I reflect back on my childhood, if my grandmother, who as I said was my world, would have accepted me for who God made me to be.  Her love for me was strong and our bond was more than words can define.  With all of this knowledge, I have made the educated guess that although at first she may have struggled to understand her love for me would not have changed.  I lost her 9 years ago last August and I don’t think a day has gone by that I don’t think about her.  I wrote her a letter a year after she had passed away.  I was told that it is a great way to heal the pain and be happy that she made such a positive impact in my life which leads me on to say that it does take time to let the heart heal. The way it heals is up to you and creates the perfect opportunity to be creative in doing so. 

I hope you have enjoyed this post. Stay tuned, as I will be advancing my blog content through the use of pictures and videos to keep you engaged as my audience.

Again, Thanks for coming. I encourage you to leave comments on this post and let me know your stand on equality.  Peace and Love. 

Can You Hear Me Now?

Hello,

My name is Paul Cote and I’m a 25-year old gay male from the Portland, Maine area. I was brought up very differently from a lot of other young gay people that I have spoken with. My mother and father are both homosexual. Had you asked me about my family life up until recently, with all of the anti-gay acts that have happened; I would have said that we are just like every other American family. I am saddened that today; in the most amazing county in the world, I have been made to feel like a second-class citizen. This has happened in large part due to the leaders of this county. The people that we have asked to represent us, but now I ask you who are they are actually representing?

I used to think that the reason people were so scared of the gays and lesbians was a lack of knowledge, which, in some situations, still holds true. Children are born with a non-biased opinion of others — full of love and willing to give it to anyone. But the adult influences in their lives taint them. They are taught disrespect, hate and be violent.

These are the things we say we are not about and that we want to do better by our children than our parents have done to us. However, for example, when a show about two gay men, that are just trying to live their own American dream comes on TV, we have to change the channel. We deem this show to be “not fit for children.” How does a child know it’s wrong? They don’t! How does a child know that the love between the two men is “false” or just “lust” or something the bible says is an “abomination?” They don’t! How do they know that a child with two men as parents will not grow up to be normal, functioning, great person in our county? How about the little girl that sits next to them in their class who has two dads? Again, they don’t!
A child with gay parents has to learn that their home life is not “normal” and must not be talked about. As the child is talking with his/her friends and the friends want to come to his/her house after school to play, the child becomes nervous and must think of reasons why this can’t happen. If the kids at school were to find out about his/her two dads, would the teasing ever end? If the other children found out that their friend had two dads, he/she would not only be the most talked about kid at school but also the most hated. Why? Because when the kids got home and told their parents the boy or girl in their class has two dads, what will the parents say?

How many parents are going to openly explain to their child what “gay” is? Will they take the time to express compassion while they explain it is just another normal family? It is my opinion, this is not true-to-life as we know it. The parents will become uncomfortable, feel awkward and say that they will talk about it later or not discuss it at all.

Worse are the parents that not only don’t explain what gay is but teach to hate gays. How the child is not a good person because her dad is gay. I can not speak for all children with gay parents; however I can speak for myself. My mother took her gay pride sticker off her car so that no one I went to school with would know that she was gay. How much pride is in that? None! Once again, proving yes, gay is okay — if you hide it.
I once believed that America was moving in the right direction; that one day soon all Americans, gay and straight, would be treated equal. I take my hat off to the states that said yes to gay marriage and all the rights that come with that. Gays people are just as valuable as any other person; but in resent times, DADT did not pass because gays are not good enough to serve our county, which make it hard to protect us. Even though we have been there the whole time; where college students act out of hate to broadcast over the internet a roommate in a gay sexual act that was intended to be a private moment, that this would be the demise of a bright young gay male. Or that a well known rap star would say, “If you’re a man and you’re over 25 and you don’t eat pu**y, just kill yourself, damn it. The world will be a better place. LOL.” Why is this okay? Why do we allow this? Why can’t you here our voices? Why are we not fighting harder?

Today, I have had enough. I feel like I have watched all of this happen and haven’t stepped into the ring to take my turn and winning equality for all gay, straight, bisexual, and transgendered citizens of this county. It is not okay to scream “faggot” or “dyke” at us when we walk down the street. It is not okay to hit us, push us or abuse us! It is not okay for anyone to treat us like we are less of a person. It is not okay that we have been second class citizens to the rest of this county. This anti-gay movement needs to stop. It is unfounded and unjustified. We demand it, we have the right to it and we will have it! Can you hear me now?